To all the Halloween-y books I’ve had hopes for before – why must you disappoint me so?
We all can feel Halloween approaching and biting at our ankles when we walk down the street now. It is a time of horror! Terror!! Off with everyone’s head!! Ok the last one might just be me and the influence of the whispers in my own closet.
Here have a paper pumpkin tinsel to forget I ever said anything.
I’m here to share with you books that made me want to shriek in horror and terror and perform casual decapitations for all the wrong reasons. Because not all books are nice and make you jump at the pure perfection and I’m a salty old woman inside a smol body that has an average rating on Goodreads of 3.26 .
Lament by Maggie Stiefvater
Rating : 2.5
They said this book is like Twilight with faeries…and it was….it really was…
(hopefully you read that in the voice of the Granny from Titanic if not…then…this is awkward for the both of us)
I’ll give it props because it’s Maggie Stiefvater after all that we’re talking about here so of course we have Irish myths and quirky kids that are in love with music and play the harp or the flute! The faeries were the reason I was whizzing to read this book!!!
I trusted the faeires…(curious bean is my 3rd name)…AND OF COURSE THEY TRICKED ME and I ended up on the floor, bursting with boredom.
A few thoughts:
– If I ever encounter another mysterious boy, who’s unique and sexy, and has some steaming hot-hot abs and says “Look pretty girl, you are ordinary and yet unique and I love you more then those other people like your good family and friends also look at my muscly arm to distract you from the fact that I have to kill you and have some deep issues” in another YA book again I SWEAR MY EYES WILL LIQUEFY.
And that’s unfortunate because I need my eyes for eye rolling, which is one defining aspect of my simply winning personality.
Glad we let THIS particular cliche back in 2009-2012. It deserves to parish.
– In typical Stiefvater fashion the plot doesn’t happen until the last pages of the book. The rest is characters. All the characters all the time. Which is fine if you like the characters (see: me loving other Stiefvater books). Which I also happened to not. Terribly unfortunate as I DIDN’T ENJOY 89% of this book. No fun times for me I guess.
– I also can’t decide if Deidre (the plain and ordinary MC ahem ahem) is smart and just acting dumb or is truly dumb and acting smart. Hmmmmm. If I can’t decide this after all that time inside her head well …
The faeries were actually COOL. Ok there was some basic iron and clover rules sprinkled but I liked it!! I liked it so much that it made me consider giving this book 3 stars!
…but than I remember about the love triangle between the MC and her best friend that has always loved her and the mysterious murderous fae and I come back to my senses.
– I’m more salty then a ritual table and dragging Luke’s character like there’s no tomorrow. The dude is FINE ok. He’s nice and teenagery sometimes and actually has a decent and interesting backstory. But he’s cocky and a bit creepy (in the not exciting fae way, just the ordinary love interest way) and Deidre only has a will in this whole book because of him sooooooo yup. I’ll continue pouring salt over the fire here.
Overall: EhhhhhHHH. Sorry faeries I’ll wait for a better book. Ta.
Sixteen-year-old Deirdre Monaghan is a painfully shy but prodigiously gifted musician. She’s about to find out she’s also a cloverhand—one who can see faeries.
Deirdre finds herself infatuated with a mysterious boy who enters her ordinary suburban life, seemingly out of thin air. Trouble is, the enigmatic and gorgeous Luke turns out to be a gallowglass—a soulless faerie assassin. An equally hunky—and equally dangerous—dark faerie soldier named Aodhan is also stalking Deirdre. Sworn enemies, Luke and Aodhan each have a deadly assignment from the Faerie Queen. Namely, kill Deirdre before her music captures the attention of the Fae and threatens the Queen’s sovereignty. Caught in the crossfire with Deirdre is James, her wisecracking but loyal best friend. Deirdre had been wishing her life weren’t so dull, but getting trapped in the middle of a centuries-old faerie war isn’t exactly what she had in mind . . .
There’s Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins
Well wow I?? Did not?? HATE this?? A miracle everybody.Admittedly, I did go into it with extremely low expectations so yey for good surprises? So yeah this book is…fine. It’s ok. Just ok. The Goodreads 2 star rating says “it was ok” so that’s what I’m rating it I guess. I’ll probably forget most of what went down here by next week it’s just that type of book.
Forgettable is a good word to describe it. Fast paced and addicting are also good. Pick your own adjective of preference out of this list I seem to be providing you with!
Things I actually liked:
– Olly aka the love interest. He’s shy, has pink hair and is actually a bit of a soft marshmallow. HE could have had a tad bit more personality but that’s taking it a bit too far let’s not get greedy now.
– Stefanie Perkins-esc humor is back! I love most-ish of her work because of the humor and writing style! just!! cute!
– The chapters of the murder victims are by far the highlight of it all! I don’t know what this says about me but reading the thoughts of a person that’s about to be bloody murdered is super fun!! Yes stabby knives!! ahem what. But it’s great to know that a person has a life and the BAM THEY DEAD BYE BYE.
– Atmosphere! Because Halloween + american towns = spooky (believe me nothing is scarier then good southern Gothic vibes those are really creepy…also nothing is spookier the America *shivers*)
Look I admit I actually LIKE Stephanie Perkins’s books of absolute mushy romance. No I don’t have feelings (hush nobody needs to know I will stab everybody who says otherwise) and me and romance click as well as an old lady with a machete (it is an actual saying i promise look it up).
But I wanted a murder thriller book of this one! I had good faith because who knows what horror loving twisted heart hides under all that fluffy romance in a person. The romance ones are always the most dangerous of all, trust my wisdom.
Well alas nope. I guess it was just even more pink underneath. Huh. This was just a very contemporary-ish romance filled book whose plot instead of relationship drama is a serial killer.
Overall: Read it if you want a light story to get you out of a reading slump or something to put you in that Halloween mood! If not then yeah you can skip this and loose nothing other then a few decorative pumpkin puzzles.
Makani Young thought she’d left her dark past behind her in Hawaii, settling in with her grandmother in landlocked Nebraska. She’s found new friends and has even started to fall for mysterious outsider Ollie Larsson. But her past isn’t far behind.
Then, one by one, the students of Osborne Hugh begin to die in a series of gruesome murders, each with increasingly grotesque flair. As the terror grows closer and her feelings for Ollie intensify, Makani is forced to confront her own dark secrets.
Wow a negative review on THE BLOG? That’s unheard of. I tend to do the positive ones here and keep all the salt gently locked locked up on Goodreads .
The saltness just exploded this Halloween – which should be a good thing as it will technically keep the bad ghouls away… I say technically and excuse my skepticism of salt but I’ve been a tiny cube of salt all my life and I still get goblins stealing my socks so. I don’t THINK it’s WORKING.