I would like to say I am not in fact dead!

I’m dusting off the spider webs and gently shooing crickets from around this smol blog. Just making a cup of tea and chatting here today.

Mango and cinnamon tea to be specific which 1. Isn’t it ironic that I HATE mango in it’s natural fruity form? But I love it in anything else lol and 2. I’m A CINNAMON MONSTER and IT’S MY SEASON aaand 3. I’ll probably forget about it and it’ll be cold and sad by the time this post is done. We’ll see how it goes!

I disappeared from the face of the actual internet. I’ve ignored my Instagram and my Twitter! Actually I still vehemently ignore Twitter.

But Ioana …WHY?

You’re right. Why???? is the question plaguing all of us I’m so sure you’ve thought about the why all the time I was gone. Day and night too what do you mean you didn’t think of me non-stop. PFTTTTt.

You probably didn’t ask but I’M HERE TO ANSWER.

Which frankly I shouldn’t even be doing I mean why not come back with zero explanations and just puff dramatically like Gandalf like hey I’m back year gone what year there’s no year. WANNA GO ON AN ADVENTURE?

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But while that is by far the best way to come back, “I just slipped from the Earth there for a second ha funny story” doesn’t really cut it for me.

Plus I actually sat down an tried to think of the aforementioned WHY?

Because why? My blog was growing so rapidly and my Bookstagram was getting dem likes. The dream of all dreams wasn’t that what I wanted when I started right. So this is me at myself too : IOANA WHY?

Well, to answer myself.

I am a teen. AND I GET OVERWHELMED.

Apparently I didn’t take that into the equation. And I’m hopeless at math.

In real life there’s a reason I don’t talk to more then 10 people daily. Woe is humans even. My parents get ignored regularly and they love complaining about it too. I just…humans make a lizard like me short circuit. I am angsty like that.

I also get tremendously overwhelmed by social media. I don’t have a Snapchat for this very reason (seeing other people living their lives OUTSIDE school is WEIRD). I follow so few peoples on Insta too. In my lowest low weeks mentally – I cannot even open Twitter. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.

The world generally gives me a headache. I am spikey and oh so very dramatic.

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Another reason: Bloggers are kinda expected to be…perfect now?

Welcome to gen Z where we do the memes, eat the tide pods and know how to be a vlogger with 1 million subscribers instantly.

Once upon a time, a long time ago in the dinosaur ages bloggers could do a lot of things! They could ramble and talk about their day or write love letters to their new acquired cactus. They could….experiment?

Now I feel the pressure that my blog HAS TO BE PERFECT.

And I know that’s my fault too? I WANT to be funny. I’m a funny gal. I’m a finger guns and fly away with a swoosh of a cape dramatic. I like it like that.

But also in real life if I don’t feel like I’m 100% myself enough to be funny I sometimes don’t talk at all. (see previous argument how I get complaints for ignoring people)

So I guess I just…didn’t talk at all here too?

I also WANT my blog to be pretty. I’m a visual person -> ergo I MAKE PRETTY EVERYTHING. Yes I am that annoying person in artsy group activities that puts in too much effort and that gets praised by the teacher at the end* for doing such a wonderful job. I am annoying like that please stare your daggers at me now.

*it the thing it nor art related then rest assured I will not be putting in any effort. At all. So you can sleep easy knowing I’m not that big of an overachiever or a teacher’s pet because I’M ACTUALLY A HORRIBLE MESS

But by having a following so fast I GOT OVERWHELMED an fell from my chair. The voice of social media said that’s it Ioana you have no room to have fun be silly and fail. There’s a standard and whoops there it goes flying high yes wow look at it go. Isn’t it great it said. NOOOO I screamed, and then did nothing and stressed myself out over it. Like you do.

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Thirdly. The third thing. The number 3.

I read a tweet once that said “Bloggers who don’t bloghop – I think you’re stuck up and ungrateful” and I took that to heart. I knew I had to hop on all the blogs ever. And I think that’s what makes me hesitant to return too. Because if I can’t hop on all the blogs now then there’s no point in returning.

But I can’t keep that up. I really really can’t.

I have school. A lot of school. Ok well maybe I hate school so I don’t exactly have that much of it because I don’t care. But I have LIFE. I’m doing other stuff outside of school that I really REALLY like.

Blog =/= Life

And I can’t sacrifice as much free time as I used to on my precious.

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So changes:
Sorry but I won’t be spending my time searching other blogs constantly. I’m saying sorry because I really mean it : there’s some great content out there. Creative people doing their thing!! AMAZING!!

But I have to take a few steps back. Maybe a nice jog in the polar opposite direction.

I’ll post LESS. I was already posting little but now it’s even littler then little. Ain’t that dandy.

I’m kinda back on Insta and I’ve always been active on Goodreads! I don’t do stuff on Twitter but you can really massage me anywhere because I actually do respond!!

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20 thoughts on “So… hi

    1. Thank youuu ❤️!! I’m happy to be back (i think we’ll see how it GOES). Yeah I kept stressing out about blog hopping and SERIOUSLY I should have spoken up about that sooner. Thank you for your sweet comment it does help to see a confirmation ❤️!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. woohoo welcome back! from july to september i haven’t blogged at all for reasons similar to yours and i’m so so glad to be back and to see you return as well 😀 school is crazy so don’t feel bad if you don’t have time to blog hop – always keep in mind that school + life > blogging. stay hydrated my sweet lizard i love you ❤
    feel free to hit me up on twitter or instagram, i miss talking to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WOHOOO HIATUS BUDDIES!!

      yes I am drinking loads of tea now thanks. I’m like “this cup of green tea is for Chloe because she wants be to be good”. Making great life choices.

      AND I WILL HIT YOU UP YOU KNOW!! i missed you too i’ll take you up on that promise!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s nice to have you back! But you shouldn’t feel pressured to post if you don’t want to, I totally get it, life can be stressful and it can be so hard to find time to do things like blogging, which is sad but I guess it’s just the way it is… And nuuu don’t feel pressured to be perfect!! Messy unprofessional blogs are honestly my fave, they’re so much more relateble to me than those really slick professional ones by bloggers who actually have their life together 😂 And I think a lot of people feel the same way! 😊

    Andrea @ https://spaceshipsvampiresandsecretagents.blogspot.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do want to post!! I KEPT COMING UP WITH IDEAS FOR POSTS!! But then it’s just a string of titles in my “write” and then I just didn’t have time or motivation. And theeeen well….reason 3 happened and it kept the pressure of I’M A HORRIBLE PERSON IF I DON’T BLOGHOP 25/7 and yup. Here we are.

      Blogging is HARD. Us bloggers should get paid in chocolate.

      And people who have their lives together exist?? Wow. Can’t relate 😂. I need to know what kind of sacrifice at midnight they’ve done to be like that.

      Like

  3. Haiiii! *Waves* I’m super glad your not dead, and your Gandalf references earn you a brownie.

    I’m so sorry to hear you were feeling overwhelmed. It’s so hard to do ALL THE THINGS and I wish I could say having blogged for 6 years now (seriously-when-did-I-get-so-old) that it becomes easier to balance but it doesn’t really. I do feel like you get more perspective about what’s most important though. Over the years, I’ve learnt to not do alllll the social networks and just focus on a few I really enjoy. If I’m feeling too overwhelmed by other bloggers that just seem too perfect to be real cupcakes I also have a blog reading fast, and I find that gets me back on the straight and narrow.

    You’ll get there, the hobbits believe in you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youuuu ❤️! Really needed the brownie too.

      I’m letting out a big relieved sigh at this. It’s just something about the advice of wiser and older strong bloggers that have been doing this since dawn that just makes it feel…chill. I hope taking a break has helped me realise these things too. Also your blog is a great mythical creature and you are a trooper wow 6 YEARS. Congrats ❤️.

      I HOPE IF I BELIEVE IN THE HOBBIES RIGHT BACK AND STRONGLY ENOUGH IT’LL FIX ITSELF.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. so glad to see ya back! AAAAHHHH!!! (< me attempting to convey the sheer extent of my gladness.)

    i am a marked advocate of the unplanned, unexplained hiatus and i say take them whenever you want!! it's just blogging! it's supposed to be fun!!

    anyway i totally get the need to step away. i hope you find the right combination of blogging/not obsessing for you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Level of gladness has been conveyed! AaaahhhhhhHHHHHHHH right back <- this means thank youuu. hope it comes across.

      i am like the bff of UnPlAnNeD hIaTuS™. it's mysterious and exciting and WHO KNOWS WHAT CRAZY ADVENTURES THE BLOGGER HAS BEEN GOING ON. and I hope I'll have way more fun now that I'm possibly hopefully baaack.

      Ah yes I need to Be More Chill. I think everyone needs to Be More Chill actually. What place would the world be if being chill was actually easy ahhaahh HA.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. HI WELCOME BACK HELLO ❤ ❤ It's good to hear from you, I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling a bit overwhelmed and pressured about blogging though. I completely get that feeling, we are all human and we can't do it all and we need breaks, too. ❤
    Do everything at your own pace and whenever you want, it's your blog and you are awesome, we will be there ❤ ❤ Sending you love!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Iona, I love your posts so much and you’re right: YOU ARE A FUNNY GAL. There’s so much content out there, but you should be able to rest easy knowing that your content is always fiyah 🔥🔥🔥 *airhorns* (slightly ashamed of myself for using that last word, but it’s the most fitting one for the description 😂). You don’t owe it to anyone to post or visit their blogs, and I’m glad that you’re cutting back on your activity if that’s what feels right to you. If there’s anything I’ve learned about the book blogging community from my frequent hiatuses, it’s that they’re not going anywhere and they’ll always welcome you back with open arms. I’ll always be looking forward to your next post 💓. Good luck in school!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It is nice to hear that you live! I totally get the overwhelmed thing- I get overwhelmed by stuff ALL THE STINKIN’ TIME. I am currently drowning in school, and this is the first time I’ve gotten onto my blog in ages? But life happens and we all get it. Blogs don’t have to be mega-perfect! And figuring out what we can/can’t do is super important. Priorities are a thing. POSTING LESS CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE. Also I want time to eat bagels, and sometimes my blog will suffer for that but that is OKAY.
    You know, I’m not quite sure what I’m saying because I’m not entirely sure I’m all here, but HEY. Really I just wanted to say it’s great to hear from you and you’re NOT ALONE. We are all screaming from stress and stuff. Isn’t it splendid? School may be the bane of us all.
    Welcome back, and best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Believe me it’s nice to hear that I live too!! It’s great being alive I have so much stuff to do honestly death can wait 1000 years.

      Yes YOU EAT THOSE BAGELS. Never had a bagel but they look tasty SO YES FOR BAGELS. Prioritising is so so important and yup that pretty much sums ot up. Look at us both in the school abyss.

      It’s great that you’re alive too!! Making sense? Online? Never heard of that. Look life is pretty school sucks and putting yourself first is great 😂.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Aww, I love you, little bean! ❤ Don’t feel pressured to do anything you can’t! Blog-hopping is amazing, but we can’t do that all the time. I suck at it and check 30 blogs in a day once every month or something. Everyone has their own paces, that blogger was being kind of extremist. But to each their own.
    I’m glad that you’re back even if you won’t post as frequently. I don’t want you to try to be perfect or whatever because I’ll probably enjoy reading whatever from you.
    Also, YOU’RE ALWAYS FUNNY, WHEN AREN’T YOU FUNNY????
    But yeah, humans have to be ignored from time to time, so that you can be okay ❤

    Like

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