So apparently Star Wars is a Christmas movie now huh.
Hello so you must’ve stumbled across one of my reviews that isn’t about books so:
Declaimer: MY NON BOOKISH REVIEWS ARE ESSENTIALLY FANGIRL-Y, WORD VOMIT-Y RANTS. Don’t say I didn’t warn you now.
It’s just how we do things round here. Also aggressively throwing things around because who needs calm anyway.
In case you didn’t know this about me: I sometimes done a fluffy hat, cosy coat and venture in the great outside lured by nerd culture. This time of year I can most definitely be found at the Star Wars movies because hello they are now Christmas movies. (I say who needs children being left alone for Christmas when you can have…Children being left alone on strange plantes for the rest of their lives until they discover they have the Force…ahem)
So I watched The Last Jedi as one does and I have loads of feelings to feel and I need to talk about them because emotions are unacceptable.
I have mixed feelings? More mixed then a mix trail with pretzels and cute little fishes. It’s definitely a “watch more times to form an opinion” kind of movie -it has both bad and good and I think I got to think about which one outweigh the other. I got out of it feeling like a confused pretzel.
List of other disclaimers :
- I haven’t watched the prequels sequels anthologies bada bim bada bum. Nobody has time or an attention span for that. I barely sit through a 2 hour movie at the cinema because I am bound by un-spoken social rules to do so. Also I get popcorn so I win.
There are maybe spoilers in this review so shield your eyes sweet summer children from the maybe spoilers. (Vicious creatures that are worse then certain spoilers)
Things that appear in Christmas movies nowdays:
- Christmas trees
- SPACE BATTLES
- WAIT WHAT
-The epic battles and ships that go PEW-PEW!!
Ok you do realize that I am an actual child right? And even if you’re not you’re still allowed to be excited by space ships that go pew-pew. If you’re not then you’ll never feel love, or friendship and I feel sorry for you.
-THE SOCK SLIDE™
You know what I’m talking about.
-Rey and Kylo vs the world
The amazing fight when they team up because yes power couple even if I don’t ship them MY BABIES ARE KICKING ASS.
-Poe Dameron aka MY SON
Let’s be real: Poe is me. Impulsive? Check. Jokes around when faced with the inevitable destruction because why not? Check. Would pet BB-8? Check. Loves Finn with all their heart? Check. #IoanaisPoeDameronconfirmed
His plot was so interesting? We’re used to the one rebelling to be always right but he was constantly proved wrong. I liked the subversion of expectations even if the way they withhold information from him was pretty much “yeah I can’t tell you because plot and because the audience”.
She was cute and soft and a fangirl and also badass and a true rebel. Basically she’s a hufflepuff in space and I love hufflepuffs!! So pure. But I was really disappointed that in the end she was reduced to the forced heteronormative love interest with that awkward kiss. She deserved better and I really hope to see more of her in the next episode.
Her lines were honestly the best and most emotional scenes in the whole movie. Her dialogue was simply amazing and I love how motherly she is to everyone. She’s hurting but it shows how powerful she is.
Also “I know what you’re going to say…I changed my hair.” IS THE GREATEST THING.
-Surprisingly enough: Luke
I like his internal struggle and his reasons why the Jedi should end. His drama queen tendencies were also reletable.
-The last battle
Kylo vs. Luke was so epic. The aesthetic. The SASSY SHOULDER DUSTING MOMENT™?! The subtle foreshadowing when Luke didn’t leave red marks while Kylo did??!?! And the end was amazing. Truly my favourite part of the movie by far.
I’ve never seen Yoda in a movie before (at first I thought he was just a silly little green thing) but he was actually REALLY COOL. Huh who would’ve though that a short, green, alien that talks about books (oh wow am I describing me right now probably) would be so entertaining.
-The “Tracking trough light speed – casino” plot
I get what they were trying to do but it felt like an extra pointless plot that taken out would’ve made the movie shorter which would’ve been great and my rather short attention span would’ve tanked you.
His arc is literally his arc from the last movie! Ergo it was pointless: he starts and ends in the same place as The Force Awakens instead of adding to that.
-The really quick jumpcuts in the first hour of the movie
I really didn’t like the cinematography, sorry people that say this film was shot beautifully. To many close-ups (I understand they were meant to show the focus on the characters and their internal struggles John but that doesn’t mean I have to like it) and way too fast editing. It felt choppy. My mom said that she felt like it was always at the beginning and that’s because everytime the plot started with a character it jumped to another one instead of letting the story unfold.
-The dark side being pushed…aside
There was so much set up that Rey would have to choose between light and dark, that she had an affinity for the dark and yet…she had absolutely no difficulty when it came to choosing. She didn’t even choose in the end she just turned Kylo down. I feel it was a huge missed opportunity. How could she not flirt with the dark side more I mean here we have cookies and very tempting dragons and galaxies to rule.
It was way too Marvel-esque. Some of the jokes…were so bad. General Hux’s character was used for bad comic relief and that’s such a flip turn upside down from what he was in the last movie that I didn’t recognize him. They MILKED A SPACE COW PEOPLE. I was traumatized. What I loved The Force Awakens is that is was apologetically pure and sweet. This one was like a YouTube video with self deprecating humor.
Every time I saw Carrie Fisher on screen I wanted to cry. But since I don’t posses tear ducts that never happened. Damn you 3 emotions I seem to have sometimes why don’t you work?!
The truth is: I never grew up adoring Carrie. I am a smol bean that wasn’t born when the films were made and they were never such a big thing in Romania (because ironically enough at that time we were under our own communist rule which is why the 80s were never really a thing™ here…sorry we never got Nintendo we got propaganda and military instead) but I know my parents saw them. I didn’t know who Carrie was until I saw The Force Awakens last year and then I found out she died.
I’ve watched many interviews with her since and I can say that she’s one of my favorite human beings ever. What she did for mental health awareness and for all the geek girls out there was amazing and I have loads of respect for this woman. Also her way of viewing life very much speaks to my existential soul.
I like the themes of balance and strength in failures, especially in Star Wars. I think these movies represent hope and these are the darker things that you have to face when you HOPE so yey for them for exploring them. Also I like that this movie took a lot more risks. Seriously most people complained that the first one didn’t take enough risks now they complain that this one took to many damn Hamilton is that you because you’ll never be satisfied.
I think THIS video is the best way to explain what I think is wrong and what’s right! (And look somebody put it more eloquently then my brain stuffed in a sock managed! Shocking I know!)
I certainly liked The Force Awakens more (that movie is just too pure ok) but this one’s entertaining as well AND I’m excited that J.J. Abrams is coming back to direct the last one!