This might actually count as a festive post look at me getting into the Christmas spirit.
(Also why does everybody say “getting into” the Christmas spirit? Is the spirit ok with that? Why can’t the spirit get into OUR houses for once and we can feed it cookies? If I were a spirit I would want people to ask me nicely and then proceed to feed me cookies.)
You all already saw the title so here I am, giving you all a comprehensive guide on how not to put up your Christmas tree because I fail.
BACK TO THE TREE!
Gentleman and female gentleman – I present to you today…. OUR VICTIM TODAY:
One very bushy tree, plastic with gold glitter on some benches. It’s balding poor thing that might just be from the pressure we put on it to look beautiful smol baby we love you even if you’re ugly).
(apologies if you don’t understand my handwriting!)
Now come the important part – you must choose your weapon carefully. In my case it’s a box full of terribly sparkly tacky (and commercial) ornaments!
This is also the part where my dog showed mild interest in what I was doing.
….and then proceeded to go nap on the couch and judge my human quirks of decorating perfectly fine plastic trees.
Nevertheless I succeeded in my quest without that traitor gremlin’s help!
I tried to make the dog sit and pose but she got confused and made a very comfortable nest out of my legs.
Appreciate the comfy nest qualities of my legs. I have always aspired to be used as an armchair.
I eventually caught her by surprise though. My parentals got what I was trying to do and helped me.
Do not let yourselves be fooled by her seemingly innocent appearance SHE IS VICIOUS.
And look I also exist!! Did you forget about your favourite smol bean AKA ME?!
I tried to take a very aesthetic photo of the star even but I have a very insistent curtain that apparently wanted to be photographed so badly it consistently got int the shot.
In the end I was defeated by the monster and succumbed to my endless torture forever onward. This kids is what happens when your dog falls asleep on you and you capture your shame:
Since the Dog has taken over me and I’ll never move from that spot on the floor you can all just assume that every single blogpost from now on will be written by the dog. It was nice knowing you internet.