Hello there wonderful human reading my blog, why don’t you come join me on my kitchen floor while I’m having a wonderful existential crisis?

Between reading all of my friend beans’ blogs (my real life friends not Internet blogger friends (TOUGH I DO CHERISH AND APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN’T SEEN YA’LL FACES!! Internet friendships are valid and you can fight me on this one Susan) and that does make it sound like I have a social life when believe me I do in fact not have one) and preparing to write for the school’s newspaper (#fricken #excited) I started having some deep philosophical questions such as:

Is what I’m writing considered legitimate? Is it even good though? How many dragons can I integrate in an article without it getting TOO weird? Can I write about books for the rest of my life? Will I ever run out of ideas? Should I start writing more personal posts? Will anyone even read about my boring self? Is 2 dragons too many or too little mentions?

 Basically pondering life, existence and the legitimacy of me smol smol blog.

cc506816-e76b-4591-aa76-6899a3286271

So here I am, comfortably lying on the kitchen floor in an uncomfortable lumpy position ( I am trying to blend in with the floor and I think it’s working. My dog is staring intently at me but I think it’s trying to figure out weather I’m alive or just part of the decor now. Joke’s on you dog who’s one with the carpet now.), these questions that I don’t have answers for (though I do think only 2 dragons mentions per article is way too little) for running trough my head.

 But the truth is: I do HAVE answers for them. But is anything ever THAT easy?

 I DON’T want to post more personal things and I DO absolutely love blogging about books. I put loads of work into all of my posts and that DOES make them real writing.

Well then Ioana, I hear you saying, what are you doing on the kitchen floor imitating a plant that is too lazy to do metamorphosis correctly because that spot is very obviously in the shadows?

Ok 1. Stop questioning my mysterious ways and 2. I think I’m allowed to doubt myself and be sad sometimes. And that’s ok.

I know my blog is a very happy and optimistic little place. And I like it that way. Sure I don’t like every book I read (pfffttt don’t read my Goodreads reviews those are wayyyy to harsh) and I’m not overly sugary sweet but I like being a nice optimistic person most of the time. I think I need a little bit of happiness in my life and if my posts bring anyone a smol smile on their face that’s great!! And don’t get me wrong I am 100% genuine on here: I’m not faking anything, I am genuinely very excited to talk to anyone and I am a terrific fangirl.

But I also have some insecurities so that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately.

1.  I can say that I don’t think I have a talent when it comes to writing. I don’t like expressing my deepest feelings. I like joking and laughing and expressing my OPINIONS goddamn it! And that makes me sometimes feel…insecure? How can I be a REAL writer when I don’t write what I’m supposed to? I’m not doing NaNo because I don’t think I can (which is stupid and you shouldn’t listen to me and go write your book with confidence).

2. Writing in my first language feels weird. It always does but now I’m forced to write a lot more than the usual essay. I feel like whenever I write in Romanian I lose my “writing” voice. I read so much in English I can’t express myself as well as I’d like in Romanian. I find myself reaching for words that just…aren’t there?

3. Am I ever going to grow tired of writing about books, making tags and lists? Should I be writing more original posts?? About the rain, about autumn, about feelings? But…I don’t think I am original enough for that either. I don’t watch leaves fall and think about the passing of time and the mortality of us all (thank you literature class for making me associate autumn with death it’s very cheerful I am a ray of sunshine). My imagination ran away when I was about 10 and I haven’t seen it since. Will I ever grow out of YA or start feeling unsatisfied by always writing about the same things?

294

 At the end of the day I love my blog and I love writing more than anything. As long as it makes me happy I’m going to do it and nothing can ever stop me (not even a small apocalypse on a far away planet or a small crisis in which I shall contemplate my existence). If I ever feel the need to post something that isn’t book related I WILL (I already post TV show and movie reviews sometimes whenever I actually see one that I like enough to post) so there is no need for me to worry about that.

Ironically enough, these past few days I’ve actually been very inspired to write. And I did and it turned out great and I am proud of myself. So I am ending this on a positive note I guess.

cc506816-e76b-4591-aa76-6899a3286271

Why did I write this post?? Well I mean…I guess my blog is called Dragon WAFFLES. Yes that waffles part refers to rants sadly and not food…believe me I am disappointed too if I could automatically offer you virtual waffles whenever you read my posts I would. (it’s not called bribing if I’m nice about it right?? riiiigth.)

 So yeah….I guess I’m taking the come to the dark I’ve got cookies saying way to seriously now. Thanks for joining me today on my very nice kitchen floor.

151156124550115721425.jpg

Have you ever been insecure or unsatisfied with your blog? What did you do to change that? Do you like writing really personal stuff? Can you relate to my waffley post? Have you ever had these same issues?? What are the things you’ve struggled with?

LET’S DISCUSS!

(I would LOVE to hear what you have to say)

Advertisements

16 thoughts on “What is this and what am I doing?

  1. OMG IOANAA ❤️❤️ YOURE SUCH A CUTE LITTLE THING FOR DOING THIS !! *let me lie on the floor besides you* I’ve had SO MANY of these existential questions!! Its even worst because English is not my first language nor my second its actually my third language.. YUP YUP 🤣🤣 I don’t think I have a skill for writing but you know what ?? IDC. At the end of the day, we are all blogging because ITS SO MUCH FUNN!! We get to fangirl or rant out shit out of it 🤓 I love your way or writing !! Expressive and very relatable so I think that’s all we are all searching for. SOMEONE TO CONNECT TO ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youuu for joining me here on the floor ❤!!
      I absolutley adore connecting and fangirling with other people, I love this community and you are definitely my internet friends ❤!! I’ll blog as long as I’m having fun and that’s what matters.
      Ooo your THIRD language?? That’s so impressive!! Teach me your waaaysss I’m trying to learn german but I’m nowhere near as good.

      Like

  2. OMG WOW YOU ARE A REAL PERSON?!!? ALL THIS TIME?!?!?!?! Okay wow sorry, I’m quite late. But I really love it when bloggers post something from the heart to show their readers THEY ARE HUMAN. or Dragon. or maybe both.

    AND WHAT?!! WAFFLES has to refer to the food and rambling. Because food + babbling + dragons IS LITERALLY MY LIFE. OR what I WANT my life to be. WHICH IS WHY I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR BLOG.

    Even if you write the same content I DONT EVEN CARE. I am trash for your blog okay! And i don’t think you’ll ever run out of ideas. BECAUSE YOU ARE 1)smart and 2)dragons never get boring okay. And omg!! DOn’t feel bad about your writing!! I WOULD LOVE TO READ RANDOM SNIPPETS OF IT OKAY AND TELL YOU HOW AMAZING AND MAGICAL YOUR WORDS ARE.
    omgggg, I just remembered the Epic Reads ShimmY Awards where you nominate books has opened. And at the end there is one for ‘Book Nerd of THe YEar’ AND I WAS SO TORN ON WHO TO VOTE FOR. But now, I KNOW.

    IT’S YOU LEONA OF COURSEEEEE. You are like my FAVE blogger ever. So obviously. HOW COULD I FORGET MY UNDYING LOVE FOR YOUR POSTS?!?!?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am most certainly a lizard people that have seen me can confirm. I occasionally spend time with humans and sometimes catch emotions.

      Well I ramble a lot and I heard someone call a ramble a waffle once and I heard food so obviously my interest was piqued so I googled it and IT WAS PERFECT so here we are today with my blog’s name and possibly a smol appetite for waffles.

      I KNEW I WAS ONTO SOMETHING WITH THOSE DRAGONS!! Seriously they prove to be a very good business investment and I am pleased. (Actually people started telling me that I’m a dragon irl and I think they’ve discovered my master plan i’ve been found out as an undercover dragon all along i must hide)

      ALSO OMG I AM SO HAPPY seriously where is the “nicest probably human but most possibly queen of all universes who knows it’s the Internet” award? You know so I can evidently nominate you for that very specific title that you deserve??

      I HAVE AN UNDYING LOVE FOR YOUR POSTS TOO DO I SAY THAT ENOUGH?? I FEEL LIKE I DON’T YOU’RE AMAZING AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE POSITIVITY AND LOVE HERE IS A HEART EMOJI ❤!!

      Like

  3. You absolutely don’t have to write about personal things if you don’t want to. Your blog is just as great whether you get personal or whether you stick to just talking about books and fun stuff! And honestly, I’ve been blogging for like 2.5 years, and that’s still something I feel unsure about, how much personal stuff I want to share. But once you share something, you can’t really take it back, so I think it’s good that you’re thinking about it rather than blurting everything out and possibly regretting it later.

    As for whether you’ll run out of things to say about books, I think about that too, and, you know, we might one day. But right now we still have things to say, yeah? So I say we wait and can worry about that if that time ever comes! There’s so much to say about books though, things are always changing, *we* are always changing and having new thoughts, so maybe we won’t ever run out of things to talk about 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment!! It was really really helpful (and it calmed me down a bit) so thank you for this.

      Maybe blogging will always be a bit unsure like that but I’m glad that it is. It really lets everybody decide what their voice is and that leaves room for creativity. I don’t think I’ll ever share personal stuff because that’s not what I’m all about BUT someone else might feel like their blog is exactly their place to do that. AND THAT’S OK.

      Untill the day we’ll run out of books and things to say about them (my growing TBR pile stands to object that that’ll ever happen in the near future). There will always be new bloggers that’ll change the game a bit and bring new perspectives and new things to the community and everyone is maturing and having different views so I’ll be ok.

      I’m still excited to see what *this* has in store for us all.

      Like

  4. This is such a relatable post and let me reassure you right this second: I do feel insecure about my blog about 99.9% of the time. Let me join you on the floor right now and hug you, you are not alone ❤ English isn't my first language either and I also have this feeling that I'm losing my "voice" whenever I write in my native language. You're not alone at all in this.
    Two things hit me particularly in your post, when you're saying "How can I be a REAL writer when I don’t write what I’m supposed to? I’m not doing NaNo because I don’t think I can". LET ME MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER RIGHT THIS SECOND. You are a writer and you're writing what you're supposed to. You're not doing NaNo right now, not because you can't do it or don't have the skills to do so, it's just because you might not be ready for it or in the right mood to do so. I used to think the same thing and, one day I tried and I had a blast. I believe that you will too. You writing this blog post and you asking these existential crises just means that you're meant to be a writer, meant to write these blog posts and so on. Just keep on having fun and you're amazing xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaaa thank youu I think this might be a smol tear in my eye right about now ❤. I really really needed this comment so thank you for taking time to write it!! I feel a whole lot less alone here now. I will practice and practice and maybe one day I’ll feel confident enough in my writing to try NaNo but right now it’s not that time. I’ll not magically feel confident tomorrow but maybe in a few years. Thank youu so much for being nice and the hugs ❤.

      (Also your blog is amazing and I’m glad you had fun doing NaNo YOU GO!!!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh you’re so welcome! ❤ I understand your feelings, I have them around… 99% of the time, like I said, so don't worry about it all too much. And don't be afraid to write, you are doing this for yourself and I am sure you have the talent to write amazing things. ❤ The writing community is really supportive and once you will be ready to get into NaNo, or even talk about your writing or something very quickly in a blog post or something, I am sure it will be warmly received ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes that’s it I’m afraid to write!! Thank you for putting that into words. I’ll start by making small steps and maybe someday I’ll join in. I love this community so so much it’s like the nicest place on the Internet and it’s full of amazingly talented people!!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I can totally relate to your waffley post!
    I also don’t think I’m great at writing, but HEY at least we’re kinda practicing right? Plus, you must have some talent if you’re writing for your school’s newspaper 😊.
    Also, I’m totally for whatever you want to post about- movie review, TV shows, whatever! The variety makes your blog more special and personable without you having to make actual personal posts. The main reason I followed you is because of how your personality shines through the text no matter what the post is about.
    It’s okay to get insecure or unsatisfied with your blog sometimes as long as it doesn’t take away from your happiness 😊.
    (Also, I know there’s nothing fun about existential crises, but there’s something very amusing about you laying on your kitchen floor during one. Like, how did you get there? How did we all get here?)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad that I’m not the only one that feels like this (even though I wish all of us were happy and confident and shining BECAUSE WE ARE AMAZING and we need to recognize that)!
      Haha thank youuu I’m glad you like what I post you’re making me bluush with your kind wooords.
      I guess getting unsatisfied is a part of wanting to improve and always get better so it’s ok. And I don’t think anything ever can make me not love blogging because I ADORE IT.
      How did we all get here is what ask myself everyday tbh 😂. One of the universe’s great mysteries. I’m oddly glad we’re here though.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ioana darling. You are at my blog several times a week and goodness knows I am NOT an original muffin. I don’t write many (any) deep and well meaning educational articles. You don’t have be be a standout OMG YOU ARE QUEEN OF THE GODDESSES blogger to be amazing. Take Persephone (#GreekMythologyLesson). She’s a goddess but a super minor one. AND YET. She has one of the COOLEST stories in Greek Mythology. I mean, Hell’s bells, kidnapped by Hades and forced to spend half the year underground and that’s why we have winter? REALLY NEAT STUFF. But she doesn’t get the press that Athena or Aphrodite get. BUT SHE IS STILL A GODDESS AND SHE IS AMAZING AND YOU ARE PERSEPHONE.

    You just keep doing what you are doing. Keep being who you are. Write what you like. It doesn’t have to be sensational – one thing I’ve learned in the book blogging community is that people linger at blogs for the BLOGGER more than the content. You don’t have to write personal stuff. You don’t have to write novels. You just need to be yourself. Be passionate. Whenever you write, your funny, quirky, sweet personality shines through and that is what keeps people coming back. ❤

    Disclaimer: I may be wrong about all of this, but this is what I believe.

    ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh but I’ve always aspired to be Persephone she’s my favourite flower goddess while also being the queen of the underworld ergo she is goals. We can all be our little Persephone’s queen of our own weird garden.

      I’ll always be myself because that’s what I find enjoyment in being and at the end of the day all it matters is doing this my way. I’ll learn and grow and I cannot wait for that! It’s been so much comfort to know that people actually like this whatever this is I’m doing. Thank you so muuuch for the nice and kind words ❤.

      Disclaimer: I absolutley love your point of view and thank you so much for commenting ❤!!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s