I just finished my first spooky book for SPOOKtober!!! Triumphant applause for my accomplishments THANK YOU!
And since it takes place in London and it’s about murder I thought WHAT BETTER WAY to review it than using Sherlock GIFs huh?? Obviously. It seems like a logical thing to do. Also make tea and eat the Queen. OK WAIT NO I MEANT CRUMPETS WHAT. What are you accusing me of here Steve?
…Oh yey talk about crumpets this was as generic as a plain as one without jam.
I love steampunk, I love Victorian London and I am intrigued by Jack the Ripper.
And this book has a main character who’s hobby isn’t reading but DISSECTING DEAD BODIES AND STUDYING MEDICINE! Sounds like it should be an exciting read that’s right up my alley right??
…well apparently not because I can never liked hyped books…why can I not have good things for Spooktober?? (I guess I still have all the candy…It’s just me and you delicious chocolate bars now..)
So get your hats and hold onto your crumpets and prepare thyself for the onslaught of Sherlock GIFs ahead because I’m reviewing this book!
Things I liked:
–The fact that the main character had and unique and interesting frikkin’ hobby!! I’m so here for girls who are interested in science and maths for a change! I myself have a mashed potato brain that gets scared so I cannot do science and relate BUT that doesn’t mean that it’s not interesting to see other perspectives and DIFFERENT THINGS!!
–The setting! This is a personal preference but London is my favourite city in the whole world. Ergo any book that takes place in London has the best setting. Throw a Big Ben at my head and and tea and I’m one happy lizard….I am not biased John I don’t know what you’re talking about.
–IT’S MURDER JOHN!!! Murder = exciting! Give me all of the stabs!
–The plot was ok. Not mind-blowing but not BAD either. So it goes in the POSITIVES category? It’s really weird when you have a good strong plot but than it’s not at all impressive?? Like, ok you’re ok BUT COME ONNN give me something to work here with! I can’t say it’s a negative now can I??
THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE:
– The “girl power” part. Ok HERE ME OUT A BIT. I have no problem with putting a super 21st century feminist in a historical setting. It’s GREAT and I don’t mind it at all. I don’t care that it’s “unrealistic. Secret Magic Schools are also unrealistic but do you see me complaining about Hogwarts?
BUT BUT BUTT. When Audrey Rose THE ONLY important female in the whole story?? And other girls are portrayed as “silly” and “too preoccupied by their appearance and gossip” and caring for children while every other male is given character depth and a personality?? NOPE. No bueno. That makes the girl “strong as a MAN”. Which is wrong and it annoyed me so so much.
DON’T MAKE YOUR GIRLS STRONG BY PUTTING OTHER GIRLS IN THE STORY DOWN!!!
– The fact that Audry Rose DOESN’T EVEN USE the intelligence and skills she seems to posses!! We’re told she’s smart and brave and beautiful etc. But whenever she has to solve something or deduce something: MEN DO IT FOR HER!!! Why is this a thing again??
– Thomas Cresswell.!!! THIS GUY GOT ME ON MY EVERY SINGLE LAST NERVE.
He wasn’t Will Herondale levels of bad boy charming – which is the BEST level of bad boy charming that other characters and only ASPIRE to be. Boy almost had a Will Heronadale poster above his head and kissed it every time he went to bed THAT’S the level of wannabe he was. HE WAS JUST STUCK UP AND INFURIATING. Rich and handsome and he knew it of course. If he wasn’t rich yet had a charming aristocratic personality NOW THAT would’ve been lots of fun to read about. That’s why EVERYBODY loves Aladdin!!! And his angsty backstory was as plain as a cracker. Basically the bad boy trope – Victorian times edition.
I don’t get why anyone would ever find him charming. Though he did complement Audery Rose’s personality quite well.
– I predicted the ending. And I got frustrated waiting around for another half of the book for the characters to figure it out. I was just munching on some chocolate, waiting for the buffoons to GET IT.
Main Character: HmMm Who could possibly be the murderer?
Murderer: *is very obviously doing the murder*
Me: *munches on cookies*
Main character: This is SOOOO HARD!!1!
Murderer: *is dancing macarena with the cadaver while holding an “I DID IT” sign*
Main character: So HARD!!!
Me:….OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS???
– Actually most of the deductions were so basic and obvious that I snorted. “Oh you’re wearing rain boots?? And today isn’t reining?? But you know where’s raining?? This villege!!! So you must be heading for the village!! So I shall buy myself a train ticket!! Yes foolproof plan!” It’s not like London is one of the rainiest places in the Solar System…just saying.
– The main character was half Indian and I don’t think it was handled well. I might be wrong and I will listen to own voices reviewers opinions on this but I don’t think it was handled well at all. Especially since Britain had the whole colonization thing going on…yeaah…that…wasn’t great…
THE WHOLE ENDING WAS SO ANTICLIMACTIC!!! I’m almost mad at how weak the payoff was! I guess I should have felt bad for the death of her brother?? BUT LIKE?? HOW ABOUT NO?? HE WAS LITERATELY A MURDERER SUSAN!!! He killed people and took their organs. ALSO HIS FATHER WAS JUST UPSET AT HIM??? WHAT?? And she was just prepared to forgive him?? W H A T ????
Another reason why it didn’t make sense: He looked really worried for his sister’s safety and THAN attacks her in a dark alley?? While shouting a name? Instead of just saying “mom”?? This is a whole new “Martha from Batman vs Superman” moment right there!
And wow the sequel takes place in Romania?? AND I’m from Romania!!
Yes I’m indeed an immortal vampire (but I like garlic bread…death will not stop me from devouring the heavenly garlicness of Italian dishes) glad we got that out of the way first.
Can I just say: I’ll be very dissapointed if there is a lack of sarmale and accurate Romanian history. Just…don’t Americanize it. Please. I’ll know if you do becauseI obviously know everything.
Also sprinkle some vampires in. Those are always good.
OVERALL: How do you manage to make murder…boring?? This book sure as heck managed it. IT’S MURDER JOHN -it should be at the very least mildly more interesting than my math class. And yet..it wasn’t. Verdict:
Seventeen-year-old Audrey Rose Wadsworth was born a lord’s daughter, with a life of wealth and privilege stretched out before her. But between the social teas and silk dress fittings, she leads a forbidden secret life.
Against her stern father’s wishes and society’s expectations, Audrey often slips away to her uncle’s laboratory to study the gruesome practice of forensic medicine. When her work on a string of savagely killed corpses drags Audrey into the investigation of a serial murderer, her search for answers brings her close to her own sheltered world.
The story’s shocking twists and turns, augmented with real, sinister period photos, will make this dazzling, #1 New York Times bestselling debut from author Kerri Maniscalco impossible to forget.